Couples can be so sweet on subways in New York. Especially when it’s a little crowded and there are tons of people around, but they are still so engrossed in each other and what they’re saying. There isn’t pretense or an awareness of people nearby. I don’t mean being all over each other, just a lot of strong eye contact, a kiss on the forehead, standing close. It’s sexy and sweet and I love sneakily watching without being obvious. Have you ever noticed this?
Speaking of being all over each other, where do you fall on the PDA (public displays of affection) scale? I happen to be, as my roomie and bffl likes to tell me, a bit sensitive to PDA. Ok, a lot sensitive. Am I alone in thinking that hanging out with a couple isn’t high on my list of super fun nights? To me, excessive PDA in front of friends and in public is just a little gross and overall disrespectful. (Plus, insecure much?) Being in awkward third-wheel situations in the past has made me so sensitive to showing too much PDA around my friends, that sometimes I don’t give my Boo enough attention when they’re around. Not good either.
So what’s a good common ground? We don’t want to ignore our significant other and we don’t want to make people around us feel uncomfortable either.
In my book, all of these are ok in public: embracing and kissing, with little to no tongue (but not for 15 minutes), holding hands (be aware of people trying to walk around you on the sidewalk), head on his/her shoulder… and that’s about it! Anything more and it’s heading for dangerous territory, i.e. making small children cry, being victim of people around you pointing and laughing, and/or gagging… etc. And nobody wants that.
The ones on the subway who are so into one another, and you can tell from subtle hints, not excessive ones (i.e. groping, sitting on top of each other or completely leaning on one another in a drunken haze), do it right. It’s in the nuances, the way they look at each other, mirror each other’s movements, how their bodies and feet point directly at each other. We’ll probably all have moments of PDA where we go a little over the top (I’m not totally innocent myself). Being in love naturally brings about those exciting, can’t-keep-my-hands-off-of-you feelings. But wouldn’t you rather be the couple that people look at and admire, as opposed to the one that people look at and practically lose their lunch? Yeah, me too.
The photo above is from the The New Yorker and was taken by Stanley Kubrick in 1946.