Over the past week or so, the systemic racism that Black Americans face has been brought to light in majorly public ways after the killings of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor and Ahmaud Arbery.
If you’re feeling unsure of how to be an ally in a real (and consistent) way, this story is for you.
It helps to understand that systemic oppression is more than individual acts of racism. (This is something that I fully started to grasp just this week.) It is deeply woven into our society and history. Systemic racism is “measurably impacting the health, wealth and safety of millions of people of color,” Ijeoma Oluo says in her book So You Want to Talk About Race.
(A few examples: infant mortality, housing discrimination and police brutality. This video series goes more in depth on the effects of systemic racism.)
As a white woman, I’m no expert on navigating the topic of race. I have so much to learn and I’m committed to continuously educating myself.
In order to be an active, thoughtful ally in fighting systemic racism, I believe a few things are necessary.
Here are three ways to help you be a mindful advocate for people of color.
1. Look inward
We’re most impactful as allies when we’re honest with ourselves—I believe that must come first.
We’re all part of this system of oppression (whether we realize it or not) and being aware of our biases is a truly mindful (and egoless) thing to do.
Naming is a practice that is often used in meditation—calling attention to tough thoughts and feelings can help to lessen their power—and I think it can be especially helpful with the feelings that come up surrounding race.
Here’s how you can try it:
Find a quiet place to sit and get comfortable. Close your eyes and take a few moments to think about race and the role it’s played in your life. What feelings come up? Label each one out loud or in your head: maybe it’s frustration or guilt or shame or anxiety or fear or a mix of all of these things.
Focus on each feeling as you name it and the way the emotion physically shows up in your body. Is there a tightening of your chest? A sinking feeling in your stomach? Simply being aware of these feelings and their physical impact on your body is incredibly powerful.
It’s not necessarily about making the emotions disappear or resisting them; it’s more about acknowledging them so that it’s easier to let them go and focus on how you can help.
I know when I come from a place of mindfulness, I’m much more likely to speak in a calm way and really listen. And I’m much more likely to thoughtfully think through my action or response rather than automatically reacting.
Giving our feelings space makes it easier to tap into a deeper wisdom and helps us to come from an intentional place of service (how can I help support Black communities?) rather than a place of judgement.
2. Read, watch and listen to more Black voices
Taking in different perspectives, especially Black perspectives, is essential to understanding the deep biases that people of color face each day.
My goal is to read and watch as much as I can to open my eyes to these biases—and to do so on a regular basis.
Watching films like The Hate U Give and 13th (currently free on Netflix’s YouTube channel) and shows like Dear White People have opened my eyes and pushed me to think beyond my limited perspective. Reading Ijeoma Oluo’s So You Want to Talk About Race is also helping me to understand how I can take an active role as an advocate.
Here are a few films and shows that are next on my list:
When They See Us (on Netflix)
Just Mercy (on Netflix)
Student Athlete (on HBO)
American Son (on Netflix)
And books: White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo and Me and White Supremacy by Layla F. Saad (I’m linking to e-books right now, since these are hard to find in paperback!)
Also: this comprehensive Google doc with titles to watch, read and listen to and a list of book recommendations from Black booksellers.
3. Talk about race with your loved ones
While talking about race (and our implicit biases) isn’t easy, it’s something people of color are aware of every day.
I found this short episode from the podcast Code Switch to be helpful along with this article, which includes discussion tips from therapist Elizabeth McCorvey, who created a guide for white therapists to discuss race with their patients.
We might not be able to change a family member’s mind if their views are so deeply entrenched and different from ours (and if that’s the case, as the article above points out, perhaps our energy is better used elsewhere, like donating).
For family members who are more open to learning, even just encouraging them to watch a documentary like 13th, or discussing what you learned from the film, can be eye-opening.
Working to get more comfortable with the uncomfortable, to thoughtfully start conversations around our biases is key.
Here are three other ways to be an ally:
Donate to causes that lift up people of color and focus on creating more inclusive systems (here are a few places to start)
Vote, vote, vote (for candidates that advocate for people of color and who are people of color—we need diversity in elected officials that matches the diversity of our country)
Support Black businesses (here’s an app that allows you to search for Black businesses by location)
Sending lots of love ❤️ If you have other suggestions for how to be an advocate, please feel free to share in the comments.