Kadi, 28
Kadi just ran her fifth half marathon(!) and she loves cooking Blue Apron recipes. One of her worst dates involves a guy who was a little too attached to his cats. Oh, and she’s not afraid to start the conversation, whether it’s in a bar or online: “If I see someone cute, I’ll walk straight up to him and start talking to him. It’s not something that frightens me.”
Her job: associate copywriter at Macy’s
Lives in: Financial District, Manhattan
Originally from: Ohio
Go-to app: “Tinder, because I think it’s hilarious. One of my roommates at my old apartment and I were really drunk one night and we were both swiping on our Tinders. Anytime we matched with somebody, we would ask if they had a dog. If they said no, we would stop talking to them. The fact that I can do that is really hysterical. It maybe makes me part of the problem, I don’t know.”
Her ideal guy: “Somebody who has a sense of humor. I did stand-up comedy in high school, so I have a very, very dry, sarcastic sense of humor. I need to make fun of people that I am in a relationship with or friends with. I would want them to make fun of me too… Someone who is into fitness and sports. If he’s just interested in video games or getting high or drinking, well then, we’re not going to work. I would rather get up at 7 o’clock on a Saturday morning and go for a run or a bike ride if it’s nice outside than sleep in until 2 and order Seamless and then get hammered. It’s just not my interest, and there are so many men who are in their 30s who do that here [in NYC]. Being active, being able to take a joke and laugh a lot at everything is really important to me.”
She doesn’t wait for a guy to approach her: “I absolutely initiate conversation. Because typically guys who initiate conversation on Tinder can be pigs, for the most part. Even in bars, if I see someone cute, I’ll walk straight up to him and start talking to him. It’s not something that frightens me. I’m very friendly by nature. If they’re not interested, they’re not interested. I look at it almost like a job interview: If there was a job description where you need to have eight years of experience, and I only have six, I’m still going to go for it. It’s the same with a dude: Ok, he’s cute, he looks like he may be cool, his profile is funny, he has a sense of humor. I’m just going to talk to him, I’m not going to wait for him to initiate conversation, when I may not be his cookie-cutter thought of what a woman should be. I always initiate conversation. I’m a no-bullshit kind of girl.”
Deal-breakers: “If they smoke weed every day. You’re 30 years old, you need to grow up and maybe not smoke weed every day. I dated one guy who could not function without it. At first, he was accommodating about it, ‘I won’t do it when you’re around.’ Then it was, ‘I can’t come over, I need to smoke, can you come over here?’ No!… Someone who is kind of dismissive about their family. I think that’s the midwestern girl in me. You’re dismissive of your family, and you don’t care about your family, then that’s not good. I always think about the future, maybe it’s because I’m 28. I’ve been through ‘x’ amounts of relationships and I’m really sick and tired of the games and the bullshit. Every relationship I go into, I want it to be something I can see lasting. Lasting means I’m going to introduce you to my family, I’m going to introduce you to my friends, I’m eventually going to marry you, and cohabit with you. I’ve dated so many people and had quote unquote “official” boyfriends: People don’t change. I look at my own father, and he didn’t change from how he was when he was younger. You have to keep that in mind and remember. Those red flags and those deal-breakers and things that annoy you now are always going to annoy you, and there’s no guarantee that they’re going to go away.”
Worst first date: Kadi had heard Macaulay Culkin’s band Pizza Underground was playing at the Brooklyn Bazaar, and she invited a guy she was talking to online to go. They met up with Kadi’s good friend and her date. “We had a couple of beers, walked around for a little bit, and it was fine. As we’re walking around, there’s this stand that has pet costumes. (I remembered that when we were texting, he had told me about his two cats. I thought, ‘Ok, you’re a grown man who lives alone, and you’re telling some girl who you don’t even know that you have two cats and you’re talking about them like they’re your children.’) So you know, I’ve seen people dress up their dogs for Halloween, he was like, ‘Oh, my gosh, I’ve always wanted Olivia [his cat] to be dressed as a teddy bear.’ I thought, ‘What the f***, ok.’ My friend was looking at me, kinda waving her hand around like, ‘Red flag, red flag.’ I said to him, ‘Oh yeah, that would be really funny.’ So the costume is $30 [ahem, Kadi paid for their beers], he then starts talking to us about how both of his cats have leather chairs with their names embroidered on them, and the thread of the embroidery matches their fur. So that happened. I was like, ‘Ok, whatever. I’m fine, everything’s fine, there are people around. He’s not a serial killer yet.’”
Last concert: Kaiser Chiefs. “I went by myself to see them near Union Square. I interned in Wales in college, and they’re very popular in the UK. They had released a new album when I was there, and my coworker was obsessed. None of my friends here know who they are. So I just went by myself and had so much fun. I ended up meeting this Irish girl who was by herself for the same reason. It was really awesome.”
Last book she read: “Yes Please,” by Amy Poehler. “I love her. The book I’m reading now is ‘Goodbye to All That,’ by Sari Botton, a book of essays about leaving New York.”
Favorite place to travel: “New Orleans. It’s different than any other place in the U.S. The architecture, the people, the culture, the food, everything is amazing. Internationally, I love Edinburgh, Scotland. It’s the most badass city I’ve ever been to. The fact that you can be pretty much anywhere in that city and look up and see a castle is really cool. I have a friend who’s born and raised there, and he takes me away from the tourist-y spots and gives me a good glimpse of the city itself.”
Go-to NYC restaurant:Tacombi, at Elizabeth and Houston in Nolita. “It’s sort of Mexican street food, and it has a hipster-y atmosphere. They have the best damn crispy fish tacos. I can’t even talk about them without getting really, really warm. And their guacamole is just awesome.”
Go-to NYC bar: 169 Bar, on the Lower East Side. “It is ridiculous, and that’s all I can say about it.”
Thank you, Kadi! If you missed it, take a look at part one (Mitch) and two (Denise) of the Online Dating Diaries.
Photographs, courtesy of Kadi. The top photo is from her 2014 vacation to Mexico; the middle photo is of Kadi running last year’s NYC triathlon, with her friends cheering her on; and the last photo “was taken at Chelsea Piers after I had shanked a drive. It was my best ‘pro-golfer in distress’ impression.”